About last night
6:40: Munching last bites of crab rangoon and digging bits of pork-fried rice from between our teeth after dinner of chinese take-out at my mom's house.
6:45: I'm surfing the web, Dave's washing dishes, and my mom's reading a book with Henry.
6:47: mom: "Ummm, I think Henry just pooped. He stinks."
Dave: *sniff-sniff* "Yeah, he smells pretty ripe." See's me coming from the dining room and sprints for the computer, letting us all know he'll be checking his email until we're done with the diaper.
me: *sniff-sniff* "That's doesn't smell normal. Let me go change him." I pull him out of his chair and sure enough, it's a case of diarhhea. He's soaked his pants on one side, right where I happened to put my hand.
6:49: Dave comes in to help change "The Diaper". I pull off Henry's pants and socks and run out of the room to put them somewhere, anywhere. My mom offers to rinse them so I hand them off to her, then go to the kitchen sink to wash my hands.
6:49:30: I hear Dave yelling from the bedroom: "I'VE BEEN ABANDONDED! I'VE BEEN ABANDONED!" so I run back and see him hoisting up Henry's entire lower body by his ankles with one hand and holding a sodden diaper in the other. He's frantically asking "Where are the wipes? I can't find them! Where are the wipes?"
6:53: Henry's clean. It was such a big, stinky mess that Dave and I make the executive decision to just throw him in the bath. I head to the bathroom to start filling up the tub.
6:55: Henry's naked and standing next to the tub, ready to jump in. We look towards the general area of the tub drain and see a cloud of black stuff. I turn off the water and open the drain. The water doesn't go anywhere. I close the drain back up and lot more black stuff poofs out from under the drain stopper. Uh-oh.
6:57: Henry's running around the condo, throroughly enjoying himself. My mom says: "Boy, he sure does like running around naked doesn't he?" I pray he doesn't make like a fountain.
7:05: Dave's trying to unclog the drain with a snake. I overhear my mom saying she had told my dad to do something about this a while ago because they had been noticing that the drain was really slow. I think with glee about just how much trouble my dad is in.
7:10: Henry is installed in the kitchen sink, sitting in three inches of water. He splashes and splashes and splashes. My mom comes in, takes one look and says "I'll go get a towel."
7:10:30: She comes back with a towel and mops up around the sink. Henry splashes. My mom leaves the room saying "I'll go get another towel."
7:14: I'm almost done with Henry's bath. In comes my mom who steps in a big puddle, looks at me and says "oh dear", then turns and goes down into the basement to make sure there isn't a leak in the pipes somewhere. Dave and I get Henry dressed and I mop up kitchen floor. And backsplash. And counter. And cabinets.
7:18-7:40: Me and my mom entertain Henry and watch "Welcome Back Kotter" while Dave continues to mess around with the drain. My parents have a blood pressure cuff so I take mine and it comes back reading 120/80. I'm feeling very smug. All that excitement and I'm totally chill.
7:41: Dave yells that he's unclogged the drain. There is much celebrating.
7:41:30: I lament the fact that my dad is no longer in big trouble.