Good grief I'm tired
There's been lots of feeling tired going around in our household of late, and although we've been getting up to all sorts of adventures, it's the exhaustion that looms largest in what I remember of the past week. By lunchtime each day I feel like I'm not going to be able to make it to Henry's bedtime, and every day Henry's bedtime comes and goes, and I'm still up. Even when I go to bed early, my mind alternates between madly jumping from thought to thought and trying to will myself to sleep. It never works, and I end up laying in bed until 1 or 1:30, which means the next day I feel even worse. It's seems to be a cycle I go through: work myself up to such a complete state of exhaustion that I practically pass out in bed for a few nights, then when I start to feel better, I stop being able to fall asleep at night. It's frustrating. Maybe what I need is some white noise to help stop my brain from running around in circles. Reading right before going to sleep used to help settle me down, but it isn't doing the trick anymore lately.
This morning I gave Henry a bagel and after munching on it for a few minutes he threw all of it back up. My kid really doesn't seem to be picking up on the concept that food is something to be enjoyed and savored, despite our constantly haranguing him to "Chew Henry! CHEW!". Instead, he regards it as an Olympic sport: whoever gets it down the fastest wins. The bagel that "resurfaced" was barely chewed. I have a feeling it got gummed up in his throat and got stuck and that's why it came up. Regardless, I now smell like barf. There's a reason no one's bottled that smell and marketed it to women. It does nothing to make a girl feel desirable, although it does a decent job of attracting dogs. Right before I gave him the bagel, Megan said he'd been wandering around the house looking for me and saying "mom". (I left him at her house for five minutes so I could run an errand.) After he threw up, I got his sippy cup of water from the car and asked him if he wanted a drink. He said "No," then walked away. Megan and I stopped what we were doing and stared at each other for a minute. Then we had a "Did he just say 'no'?"/ "Did you hear that?"/ "I think he just said..."/ "OMG, did my kid just say...?" etc, etc, all at the same time, totally excited. And after all of that, after months of asking Henry if he can say this or that, I've realized I'm not quite ready for him to start talking because his inability (which I actually think is less inability and more unwillingness) to talk feels like the last little bit of his babyhood.