jennanddave.com

I thought a good night's sleep would help me gain a new perspective on what I talked about yesterday and I would feel less apprehensive today, but I still feel very unhappy about the situation we're in with the pre-natal care we're receiving. I've spent some time sifting through exactly what's making me unhappy and I've come up with at least two things, the first being it's not unreasonable to expect at least a phone call to talk about the screening test I failed and where we go from there. To clarify, I'm not upset about having to take the gestational diabetes test, I am upset with not being included in any discussion about it, at all. That instance alone is no big deal, but when coupled with the other experiences that have given me pause, it's become the proverbial straw that's broken the camel's back.

The second thing: Dave and I have agreed that we need to be very clear about what we do and don't want for the birth of this baby (keeping in mind that we're pretty flexible people), but it seems fruitless to do that because of the way the current practice we're using works. You meet with lots of different mid-wives and a couple of different doctors because you just don't know who will be on call when you go into labor. With Henry, we had a mid-wife we'd never even met before, so we can talk to people until we're blue in the face, but in the end there's a good chance whoever we end up having for the big show won't know us and vice versa. To that end I'd be happier if we were able to meet with the same person, to get to know them as well as their being able to get a better grasp of where we're coming from. Today I found a practice who has just one doctor and one nurse who also uses the same hospital we used for Henry, so I'm going to set up an appointment to talk with them (I tried calling today but I got they're answering service).

I'll also be calling to set up an appointment with a local mid-wife who has a birthing center and also does home births. I'm not certain if this is necessarily the route I want to go, but the pros in my head right now are out-weighing the cons, most of which admittedly have to do with my own inhibitions and hang-ups.

This is the last baby we're going to have and I feel very strongly that I need to look deep within myself to figure out how I feel, to talk a lot about the options with Dave, to decide what exactly is the best route for us to take, and for both of us to not have any doubt whatsoever after that decision is made. Some fear, maybe, but doubt, definitely not.

Thank you for your kind words and emails after yesterday's post. I love you guys! *sniff*