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Last Thursday there were a few rumblings from Camp Henry that he didn't like having to be at school all day. Friday morning there were many tears at the bus stop, but he did get on the bus when it arrived with nary a protest. Yesterday he saved his tears for after he got on the bus. After he sat he looked out the window at me and his whole face crumpled. It broke my heart. It also broke the hearts of a couple of the other parents who saw it happen. Today he did the same thing, except it wasn't a complete crumple. Tomorrow hopefully he'll feel even better.

There's no question he doesn't like spending the whole day at school. We ask him if anything else is going on, and he says no, everything else is fine except for the fact that he has to be there ALL DAY! His favorite times are: snack time, music time, computer time, and quiet time. A sure sign he's not thrilled is that quiet time made it onto the list.

Watching him process his angst has caused me to delve into the past and rehash all of the things that I've had to buck up and work through that I hadn't particularly wanted to. Unfortunately, what could be a cathartic activity resulting in major personal growth has boiled down to me obsessing over every grudge I've managed to hold onto over the past 34 years of my life. I'm a big-time grudge holder, so I'm going back to things that happened in high school, and in one case, 8th grade. It's not something I'm particularly proud of, but it is what it is. The end result of sifting through all of the ways people, mostly passing strangers relative to my life, have said or done unthinking and hurtful things is I've been wandering around with an attitude that's got a slight bent towards anger. I've got to do something about that, but mostly I'm running with it, swimming around for a while, and when I come out on the other side, it'll all be roses. Until next time.