Why Chemistry
Surfing some science blogs, I noticed one that posed the question 'what made you want to be a chemist?' as a part of an interview. The responder (Dr. Glen Miller of Univ. of New Hampshire) pointed out that it all started when he was 14 or 15...
And this set the gears turning (churning?) in my own head. When I was a teenager I was looking for answers just like everybody else was. Whenever I went to chemistry class, the world seemed a little tamer. My teacher (Mr. C. to protect his privacy) was incredibly dry and explained things in perfect clarity without decoration, 'edutainment' , or any kind of B.S. He didn't talk down to the students - he didn't have false airs or try to be anybody's 'buddy'. He just taught chemistry clearly. The stupid social cliques that every teenager stresses about melted away into irrelevancy; chemistry mattered to me, made sense and I could identify with it. I started reading Science News. This is what I craved : a no-bs approach to understanding the world. But as it turns out, I wasn't very good at it, or maybe so-so. On the AP Chem exam, I was so lost I used the ideal gas law to try to solve a problem about a solid.
I had this idea around then that I wanted to set up a basement lab, for which of course I needed chemicals. A bottle of stearic acid was easy to come by but I didn't have a clue what to do with it and that's as far as I got - slightly embarrassing in hindsight. To say the least, I was no boy scout, but then again that kid was in a league of his own. Anyway the stearic acid fiasco was a useful exercise because even then as a teenager I already realized that I wasn't going to be an organic chemist. Good lesson learned early. Although I later took orgo from Francis Carey (now emeritus at UVA) and it was awesome I have to admit. But back to high school, and here's an inner monologue confession : I didn't know if I could be a chemist. I struggled - I worked hard and just barely got my B, or was it a C? Hmmm. It was what I craved, but I didn't know if I could do it.
To summarize the next 10 years : in college, I was a lot more mature and I did well in chemistry, but relied on some terrific mentors (Dr. D., and many others) who saw the chemist in me before I saw it and pushed me in some good directions. In grad school you had to sink or swim and I knew that going into it. It was the crucible that everybody had made it out to be.
It's a little wild to see this all in hindsight (and has absolutely nothing to do with watching the movie 'Click' last night), but it's kind of nice to see it this way now.
Now when I teach this stuff, the AP Chem fiasco comes up again and again. Probably once a year (or maybe more actually) I see a student do the same thing on one of my tests or quizes. And I'm not going to lie - it's kind of a relief to see that and I try to remember to not be critical because it's all part of the journey.