Cool Science

...for making an essentially perfect caramel apple and restoring my faith that there are still others out there who possess this deep and arcane knowledge.

First off, I just have to say what a great father's day it was with Jenn and Henry at Knoebels. After Jenn got me cool goodies from Woodcraft because she knows me sooooo well, the fam had a gut-bursting breakfast which we worked off on all kinds of kiddie-rides at the nation's largest free-admission park. Henry was in heaven and so was I and Jenn staged the perfect Father's Day. I felt like the biggest man around.

Second off (that was for you Kyle, if you're watching), I will now explain for all once *and once only* how the perfect caramel apple must be achieved:

1. start with an incredibly tart granny smith apple; anything else will be crap. You don't want it sweet or mushy. It has to be a crisp, violent-pucker-inducing apple the size of a baseball. Cheaping out on the apple is the worst sin of all. I submit that there is a special level of hell for any one who gets this wrong.

2. Apply a strong stick (3/8" diameter minimum) through the entire length of the core. This stick must stay in the apple even if an F5 tornado blows through, which coincidentally is equal to the force needed to bite into a caramel apple (get it? dentally?). See the previous comment about the importance of a crisp apple. It should be obvious that the right apple also helps in securing said apple to a huge stick that could double as a rake handle.

3. Dip apple in real hot caramel, not the fake junk, so that it forms a deep 1/4" covering EVENLY over the entire apple. We will say no more about the evil-doers who can't even bother to melt their caramel and use mystery-liquid-food-stuff-instead. But there should be no doubt about the importance of coverage: honestly, who can stand the amateurs who put the apple upside down and let the caramel cake on the top leaving an essentially bare apple behind. This is an insult that should not be endured : YOU should be dipped in hot caramel if you commit this sin.

4. Roll freshly dipped apple in nuts so liberally that at first sight you don't even see the caramel. DON'T wait for caramel to harden to do this.

5. Serve ASAP while caramel is luke warm.

FINAL PRODUCT: every bite must rake in gooey caramel, crunchy peanuts, and crisp, sweet-tart-like apple achieving ideal contrast and harmony simultaneously and setting off taste buds in your mouth you didn't know you had.

Knoebels nailed parts 1-4, which is extraordinary. Let's put it this way : I challenge you to remember the last time you met a caramel apple that even made it to part 1 successfully. And to give some credit, I sympathize that they have logistal issues to deal with and aren't in a position to hand dip right in front of you (IT CAN BE DONE, Knoebels - take that last step to caramel apple nirvanna). So there it is.

Posted by Dave at 10:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

...I don't have any particular talent in either, yet I do have a deep and abiding appreciation for both. I sincerely enjoy being immersed in both, even if I don't always understand what's going on or even if can't figure out "how did they do that". Both have an unquantifiable, compelling power. And let's face it - you can do excellent party tricks with both. Both music and math are democratic, indiscriminate subjects which can be learned by anybody; yet when you witness somebody with real talent in either case then it can really blow your mind. Ok, that's my rant for today.

Here's a completely random web video that I got a kick out of. That's one clever penguin.

My deep thought: I've decided that by grilling, and especially by smoking the things I grill with mesquite and hickory, that I release tiny inert dust particles into the upper atmosphere which reflect sunlight and contribute to a global cooling effect that opposes global warming. I intend to grill a lot more in support of the environment. (let's forget about where charcoal comes from, or the production of carbon dioxide, etc.).

Finally, I haven't kept up with the free energy folks in a while. I'll admit it - they're entertaining and I've missed hearing the latest. Here's a fellow who believes he has a contraption which is supposed to take advantage of the fact that the Earth is rotating. Rotation just results in a centripetal/centrifugal force (quiz : what's the difference?) and so this looks fishy but I've never run across this one before so I should think it through first.

Posted by Dave at 01:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

That stands for Big Bang Theory, which has restored my faith in sitcoms. Science is cool, uncool, funny, awkward, bizaare, mind-blowing, unpredictable and full of incredibly colorful characters. I'm not really sure why hollywood didn't catch on to this sooner. I could rant on, but that would make me too much like Sheldon, which doesn't fit at all since I'm the geek who landed the hot babe.

Funny story. I was struggling tonite to watch Bill O'Reilly to broaden my cultural horizons; he was yelling a lot and hurling insults and acting up a storm. Do people think this is news? And apparently some viewers like this but I was grudgingly forcing myself to watch. It's a free country - I don't like what he says so I don't watch him. But as I was grappling with why anyone would actually want to watch this, suddenly the screen went blank, then there was a pause, and then in plain text the words 'poor quality signal' flashed on the screen.

Back to science. Once again, I haven't felt like writing. I could continue my various humbugs about the miserable science reporting on CNN. Or I could regurgitate the popular science stories in the news like the one about element 112 being confirmed by IUPAC or that a high school student self-diagnosed herself in the middle of a lab class. Great stories, but you know them already and I have no insights on them. I don't enjoy watching MSNBC either, but I really liked Bill Nye's guest appearance tonite talking about clouds. I mean this guy is good - he can really show why talking about the weather (ok, this bizaare cloud picture) is exciting (and it is, FYI - I'm not being cheeky). But put all of this together (yes, even include BBT) and it feels like there is more science out there in the mainstream.

Now I'm not saying we should we go as far as professor trading cards, but it feels right to see all this science capturing the country's imagination. Is this a blip? Will it continue? And while I'm at it, just where is the next great kids science show? Henry's only a few years away from the age where I started to watch Mr. Wizard; Bill Nye is doing other important work. Actually, some of you may recall I was bummed out about this in a post that I wrote ages ago and it just hit me that there still isn't anybody out there doing this that I know of. (Does Mythbusters count?)

Meanwhile I'm still missing the Kirk burger king glass. KAAAAAAAAAAAHN!

Posted by Dave at 11:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)