Cool Science

I greatly enjoyed my stay in your hotel that normally costs as much per night as an iPad, but which fortunately I could afford because of a group conference rate. Truly I felt like a minor celebrity for a night. But if I may be so bold, I think you may benefit from some advice. First, although having a doorbell on my room made me feel like I was in my own apartment, I must ask where is the flat screen tv? Come on guys, does a blurry CRT that was well over 15 years old really cut it? Next, although it was awesome to be on the highest floor and enjoy amazing views, what is the deal with the mini-fridge in which every item (including a Butterfinger candy bar, surreal) is held with an electronic sensor? Truly, nothing conveys hospitality and luxury more than letting your guests know they are electronically monitored. I was afraid to touch any item in the room (how much to open the window curtains?) for fear it would trigger a fee that only a Kardashian could afford to pay. How relaxing. Oh, and there was actually no room in the mini fridge to put any of my stuff. Thanks! You have indeed thought of everything. Finally, although it's true that the plethora of polished marble made the bathroom shine like I was on the inside of some gemstone, when it comes to something a guest might actually need like the 'net why the heck are you charging extra for internet access? It's always complementary at the 'lesser' hotels who charge a fraction of your Trump-esque costs. Thanks for thinking of the things your guests will need and then excluding them in your fee while phoning in superficial luxury. Once again, you have thought of everything.

Overall, looking past these constructive comments, it was actually fun to play along with the charade and role-play a more decadent life for a night. Heck, I almost put on the robe and slippers hanging (nay - taunting me) in the closet but was afraid they might have been attached to a sensor too. I know now why celebrities and rich execs are so neurotic. I don't feel sorry for these guys, I just don't want to be one of them.

Sorry guys, no science here, just a little rant before I hit the hay after a really good conference...