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March 03, 2011

Three things:

1. Dave and I had the following conversation this morning:

dave: What the h*ll is Pennsylvania thinking? They've made it mandatory that as of March 1st, all new residential construction include sprinkler systems!
me: You mean for fire saftey?
dave: *long pause* Oh. Right. That's the kind they're talking about.

Dave was ready to do battle against mandatory lawn sprinklers. Meanwhile, I laughed and laughed and laughed.

2. Holly woke up from her nap yesterday with a new skill: two word sentences. Last night at dinner she hollered across the table "DADDY LOOK!!!" This morning she giggled and said "Silly marker!", there being no marker in sight. A girl can dream though. Also, all of her sentences end in exclamation points. That's how she rolls.

3. Thanks to internet searches based on today's retronaut, I just spent half an hour studying the Droeshout engraving of Shakespeare for signs of a conspiracy. It takes me back to those first few weeks after I had finished reading "The Da Vinci Code". Good times, good times.

September 16, 2010

The psychology behind raising the second kid.

me: So, this morning I asked Holly where her nose was and she very proudly patted her left ear.
dave: Awwww, that's so cute! *long pause* You know what's great about the second kid? When she does something like that you don't automatically assume she's going to grow up to be an idiot like you did with the first.
me: *laughing* True, true...

April 11, 2010

Spider season

I went into the bathroom this evening to get Henry's bathwater going. When I walked in, he was standing in the tub, in his birthday suit, patiently waiting for me to get the show on the road.

Henry: There was a spider in my bathtub.
me: A spider?!?!
Henry: Yep. But I smooshed him.
me: You smooshed him?
Henry: Yep. With my foot.

We both look down at his bare feet.

me: Is it still on the bottom of your foot?
Henry (busily contorting himself to try to look at the bottom of his foot): Uhhhh...probably.
me: Oh! Good job...?

Boys. This morning I got three spiders in that bathroom in the span of two minutes. One of them crawled out of a towel while I was carrying the laundry basket down to the basement, which is what kickstarted the massacre in the first place. We're so not phased by spiders anymore that we've just been letting them wander around for weeks. It only took me two minutes because I already knew where they all were hanging out. It's probably unfair to allow them to carry on with a false sense of well-being. I should be more respectful. They, however, should know better than to take up residence in our towels.

On another note, there have been public and private requests for a video of Holly crawling. I have one, I just haven't downloaded it yet. Can you stand the suspense?

February 19, 2010

A Quick Conversation with Henry or, "Hope Springs Eternal"

Henry: I would like to watch some TV, please.
me: Okay. Wait a minute, I don't think so. You watched a lot of TV this morning.
Henry: No I didn't.
me: What do you mean "No you didn't." You watched an episode of SpongeBob while you were doing your fish medicine (aka his nebulizer) and then later on you watched Wall-E. I think that's enough TV for one day.
Henry: *thinking* I would like to watch a *real* lot of TV today, please.

I gave him credit for trying and for being polite, then had him practice writing his H's. I'm such a mom.

February 06, 2010

New house

dave: Argh.
me: What?
dave: I just tried to put a dish in the dishwasher and part of the dishrack broke off.
me: Uh-oh.
dave: Yeah
henry: We should just buy a new house.

December 10, 2007

Christmas cookies

While we were in the car yesterday, I was telling Dave about how one of the playgroups Henry and I go to is doing a cookie exchange. I was thinking out loud about what kind to make, eventually settling on my great-grandma's molasses cookies, that way I could make a double batch and have some to give to our friend Mr. L, or to send to my mom, or whatever. Then I said:

me: Or, I know, I can bring some Christmas cookies to your parents' house again.
dave: That is such a good idea. They were a total hit last year. Didn't somebody eat them all? Was it my dad? Or my brother?
me: Ummm... I think it was me.
Dave: OH YEAH! YOU ate them all!

Then he proceeded to whack me on the arm while I sank further and further into my seat, completely and utterly embarrassed, and yet probably destined to do the same thing all over again this year.

November 15, 2007

Last night at dinner

dave: So, I know this is a stupid question, but Thanksgiving is on a Thursday this year, right?
me: Ummmm, yeah, Thursday, just like every other year you've been on this planet.
dave: Go easy on me, I've had a rough time of it lately.
me: *blink blink*
henry: Watch Cars?

It's not the first time he's asked me that either.

November 04, 2007

On kitchen remodels

While talking about all the things we'd like to change about our kitchen:

me: I wish you were Tom Silva.
Dave: Me too, 'cause then I'd be rich, living in Massachusetts, and I'd have a great home.
me: Yep...

April 26, 2007

Board books and soap

Last night at dinner Henry was thumbing through his "My 1st Colors Board Book".

Dave: We should do a whole line of "My 2nd..." board books. No one's thought of that yet.
me: Like what, "This is the color "puce"?"

***********

I bought Softsoap handsoap in "Pure Cashmere", partly because they were out of SpongeBob Squarepants foaming handwash, and partly because it was the only soap on the shelf that wasn't antibacterial. It smells delicious, like coconuts and beaches and other yummy things. It smells so good that when I was at the store on Tuesday, I noticed they were selling a bodywash in the same scent. So I bought some because I want to smell like the handsoap ALL THE TIME. The first few minutes I used it I was in heaven, but as the minutes passed, so did the smell of coconut. The new scent was somehow familiar. I pondered as I lathered until suddenly it hit me: playdoh. Today, it was the same thing: great first few minutes, followed by the scent of playdoh. I really like the stuff, and the first few minutes are pretty great, but is it worth running the risk of being attacked by a band of rabid pre-schoolers?

April 04, 2007

Overheard on campus

The three of us were wandering around campus this afternoon after Dave finished up for the day. We passed three guys and overheard part of their conversation:

College guy 1: ...so I'm going to be as tactful as I can but I know however I do it she's just going to start crying...
College guy 2: Seriously, try to be as nice as you can because you still need her to drive you to ---.

The third guy reitereated vehemently College Guy 2's take on the situation.

College guys...sheesh.

March 23, 2007

Conversation while feeding Roscoe

me: Their mouths are shaped like that because they eat insects from the surface of the water.
dave: You know, I think you have a little bit of your uncle in you.
me: If I had a little bit of my uncle in me, he'd be skewered on a pin in a display box by now*. Roscoe's mouth makes him look so grumpy.
dave: He's perfect for this family.
me: What do you mean?
dave: He's a grumpy loner.

*My uncle's a biologist who collects insects. "Ewwwww!" has been my official take on his hobby since the age of five.

December 05, 2006

Re: "Winter Wonderland" lyrics

Dave: Wait, what are they saying?
me: “Parson Brown”.
Dave: "Parson Brown"...what does that mean?
me: You know, pretend to get married and all that.
Dave: Oh.
me: What did you think they were saying?
Dave: Possum brown.
me: Possum brown? What does that mean?
Dave: I thought they were describing a color...I always thought it was odd the snowman was brown.

November 24, 2006

Thanksgiving conversations

On the way to my parents house:

Dave: Henry, say "turkey"!
Henry: Eeeee!
Dave: Say "turkey"!
Henry: Eeeee!
Dave: Okay, "turk-"!
Henry: Eeeee!
Dave: "Turk-"!
Henry: Eeeee!

On the ride back home:

Dave: I can't decide if it's hailing or not.
me: It's 41 out. That's a pretty interesting temperature in terms of how it affects precipitation.
Dave: Yeah. I can't tell if the hail is melting as it hits the road...
me: They do seem like really big rain drops.
Dave: Well the dog pooped big today.
me: What does that mean?
Dave: Uhhhhh...
me: Oh, you mean she just has to pee, not go for a long walk?
Dave: Yeah.
me: I thought you were referring to her as some kind of weather predictor-dog, like "If Flash poops big, prepare to dig/If she just does a tinkle, it's only going to sprinkle".
Dave: *polite chuckle*...silence

November 20, 2006

1% of the internet

Have you seen that article on CNN, the one that talks about how one percent of the internet is porn? I asked Dave if he had read it:

me: I can't believe 1% of the web is porn. I'd think it would be a lot more than that.
dave: I know. Personally I would spin that as 99% porn-free.

October 06, 2006

Dialogue: caramel apples

Dave: When can we go to Arena Farms?
me: How about Sunday?
Dave: Do you think they'll be doing the caramel apples yet?
me: I don't know. Columbus Day weekend is really early this year. Actually I bet they will be.
Dave: I think I'll just tell myself they won't be so that if they are it'll be like "Oh lovely." You know, because we men always say "oh lovely" when we're pleasantly surprised. God, how come you married me?

September 12, 2006

Dialogue: Out of Africa

While we were at my parents' house last Saturday, I was talking with my dad about how I was currently between books right now. I mentioned I didn't know what I was going to read next and he suggested "Out of Africa".

Last night Dave and I were reading in bed (okay, I was reading, Dave was obsessing over Sudoku) when the following conversation took place:

me: What's "pedantry" mean?
Dave: Probably a foot doctor.
me: That's a podiatrist.
Dave: Well, it's an old book.

So in case this comes up in Trivial Pursuit, at least up to the year 1937 pedantry was a foot doctor. Hope it wins you a pie piece.